Chuck Norris doesn’t need a life. Life needs Chuck Norris.

It’s hard to tell just how seriously the C3 Division squad that bears the iconic TV actor’s name actually take their soccer, but Chuck Norris finally put an end to their pointless season (statistically speaking, of course) with a 4-4 draw against AFC Calcio Cavallo, who still hold a commanding twelve-point cushion on the final playoff spot.

The Onetouchables might have had good reason to high-five Chuck for the break were it not for their own embarrassing 16-1 loss to the Lost Boys, effectively icing any residual playoff ambition of their own.

POTG: Adriano Abbale scored twice in this game and has the dubious honour of bearing over a third of Chuck’s offensive harvest this season, which weighs in at a paltry 22 goals in 12 games.