11 Jun

You won’t find Osso Bucco on the menu of the Rotisserie Scores where legend has the squad first forming. And maybe that’s all you need to know about the Laval newcomers.

“At that moment, we decided to assemble a soccer team that would make calcio great again,” declares the self-declared PR representative of Osso Bucco FC, Joseph Gualdieri. “We knew that the key ingredient for our success was that you had to be a poster. You had to have the ‘let’s-post’ mentality. So we started contacting some of the best professional posters we knew: friends who can have nine shots of Poli on Saturday night, wake up the next morning buzzing, have an espresso, a plate of pasta, take a nap in front of the TV and play a beautiful game of soccer.”
And the Sunday specialists might have gotten away with it too, were it not for teammate and “water boy” Fabio Colias missing a penalty shot in an early 2-1 pre-season ouster at the hands of Nation.

Yet Osso Bucco FC currently sit atop the C4 Division, thanks to a pair of regular season victories, captain Gualdieri’s Daniele De Rossi/Fabio Cannavaro play, part-time keeper Guy-Carlo Provost’ boyish Gigi Buffon good looks and a little touch of the rough stuff from GSP-like enforcer Gabriel Paquette.

“Our ambitions for this season are simple: fill up the stands, win the Scudetto, compete in the Champions League and make it feel like 06’ again. Long term, we’re looking to get sponsored by Solid Gold and receive an invite to their golf tournament. With this start, we’re on the right track.”

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